StephenClarke

Je viens de recevoir un mail d'u lecteur chinois m'informant du sense des légendes sur la petite carte de Paris que l'on trouve dans l'édition chinoise de "A Year in the Merde". Elles sont délirantes, dans le meilleur sens du terme.Les voilà (en V.O. comme on me les a envoyées):

1st arrondissement (the Louvre):  Bottom left corner: Almost carless, it's the best place to stroll or daydream.
Top right corner: Classic 70s lavatory for drug dealers.
2nd arrondissement (the Bourse): One can find smart prostitutes here, and they even spout poetry spontaneously.
3rd arrondissement (Pompidou centre): It\'s best to stay outside and admire the architecture.
4th arrondissement: The shops here sell decorations that only homosexuals know how to use, and also cooking implements that nobody know how to use.
5th arrondissement (including the Ile de la Cite, Notre Dame Cathedral):
Around the Cathedral there are heaps of wet cardboard boxes and broken lightbulbs. Across the street, one can find a damned second-hand bookstore.
6th arrondissement (Jardin du Luxembourg): Suitable for family outings (the only serious one in the 20 descriptions?)
7th arrondissement (the Eiffel Tower)
8th arrondissement (from left, the Arc du Triomphe, Champs Elysees, Place de la Concorde): The best place to catch couples kissing.
9th/ 10th arrondissements: No description.
11th arrondissement: An area full of out-of-date pubs, but still a good place to get drunk.
12th/ 13th arrondissements: No description.
14th arrondissement: Entry prohibited, unless you\'re well off.
15th arrondissement: So full of the bourgeoisie it\'s unbearable.
16th arrondissement (on the border with the 17th, the Avenue de la Grande-Armée): Extremely successful tea sellers are the only people who can afford to live here.
Trees next to the 16th arrondissement (Bois de Boulogne): Excellent place for relaxation if you\'re hip or a transvestite.
17th arrondissement (beyond it, La Grande Arche): If you are in a car, do not approach on Satuday mornings.
18th arrondissement (Sacre-Coeur): Has the best of the worst Renoir imitations ever seen in the world.
19th arrondissement: Has a mobile playground here on the weekends.
20th arrondissement (Pere Lachaise cemetry): There\'s grave upon grave here, so much so that they look like models of houses.
The Seine: The place where everybody pretends to be romantic.